They said we would be in a Utopia:Dark Wood Circus
by Manlecki
Summary: "In times you can't return and are lost, you turn your eyes down  Even the words you believed in are lost and the colors end  Within here what is needed?


**A/N- I do not own Vocaloid, nor any of their songs or characters. I merely wrote this for fun. All rights go to there respected owners. The song is from Sug-Scheat.  
**

They said we would be in a utopia. We would make others filled with pleasure and delight. The doctors had said the pain wouldn't last long; we would be perfectly fine as long as we listened to them. Some of us believed them, the rest of us knew better.

They disguised their cruelty behind the tent of a circus. A circus of all places. Seems fitting doesn't it? So many controversies surround circuses. People either love the circus, or fear it with all their heart. This circus was one like that, fitting of both. The spectators loved us, in a sick sense. They bought the lies that we lived in a utopia, they helped create it. The ones who hated this circus were us the ones who could still hold on to reasoning at the end of the day. The ones who hadn't given into Insanity. But maybe we should have. I wonder that sometimes. Would surviving have been easier if I had lost all hope and given into the Insanity all around me? Would it have caused me less pain?

The pain. I remember it so clearly. The hospital, the white rooms that held us captive, and that one dark red room. The room where endings and beginnings took place. The end of our old lives, and the beginning of our new lives in the Dark Wood Circus.

The hospital was where we were at before we were able to go to the so called Utopia. The hospital was where the experiments occurred. Each experiment was different, for all of us were supposed to be used for different purposes. We were going to be in a circus, so of course no one would want to see the same freak twice. That would have been boring for our admirers. They determined what they would do to us based on our appearances and special abilities. I had been in a room with three others, twins and a boy with blue hair and eyes as cold as ice. We were all terrified as to what would happen. While some of us had been kidnapped, others had been sold to this terrible place of tragedy.

The blue haired boy had been the first of us to disappear. None of us knew what had happened to him until later on, when we officially became part of the Dark Wood Circus. One of the twins were next to go, but by this time they were both starting to lose their minds. The girl was the one who disappeared first, and when the brother (who I realized was usually very protective of his twin sister) realized that she was gone he just smiled and started laughing hysterically. The next morning he was gone too. All by myself in that enormous white hospital room that was meant to hold four, I was left to let my mind wonder about all of the things they had done to the other three and what would become of me.

I couldn't take it. I had decided to explore the hospital a bit. That was when I saw an endless corridor of rooms. Sneaking quietly through the hallway, I opened each door a tiny bit, and was able to see more children in rooms, and some were completely empty. I recall stumbling into the red room, and opening that door just a crack. How I wish I hadn't done that. What I saw then had haunted me my whole life. In that room was the blue haired boy, huddled in a corner, his head in his lap, knees pulled up to his chest. There was a pile of bodies' right next to him, all headless, laying in a thick pool of blood, and a bowl of what looked like arms. In another part of the room was a hospital bed, with restraints placed on it. On that bed was the boy twin, naked, and restrained on the bed, though he wasn't moving.

Hovering over him was a woman holding a chainsaw, laughing hysterically, pulling the chain, bringing it down to the boy's neck, and with a quick plunge she cut the boys head off, allowing blood to splatter across her face and the room. The decapitated head started rolling on the floor. The woman snapped her fingers and the blue hair boy looked up, his eyes vacant. She smiled sadistically, and pointed to the rolling flesh, the boy obliged to her command and on his hands and knees crawled over to it and picked it up in his mouth, bringing it over to a corner of the room that I hadn't noticed before. In the final corner of the room was the girl, beheaded, her body lying next to her. The blue haired boy placed the boy's head next to his sisters, crawled away from them, licking the blood off of his lips. I ran away after that, disgusted by what I saw, wanting to be sick but not able to vomit. It was worse than I had imagined.

After a while I was calm enough to be okay with the fact that I would probably die. Even though they had told us we were going to be living in a utopia, I didn't see how if they were just planning on killing us. Had they meant Heaven? Was that what our Utopia was meant to be? Another wave of calmness washed over me and I started to sing. It was a song that I had once thought was so sad, but never understood the meaning of until now.

"In times you can't return and are lost, you turn your eyes down  
Even the words you believed in are lost and the colors end  
Within here what is needed?

The place you can't return to that you cling on kills your voice  
In this town even light is lost you're hungry for love

While you're bare foot trying to stand you are  
A person following a dream looking for a place to be  
The downcast sad eyes will surely  
An ore concealing the light?

Above the sky I painted, will you show your smile?  
Embrace the illumination of stardust and let me sing  
Now is the bud embracing the light of a dream story  
Continuing from now on will be the iris shining upon the unknown

While you're bare foot trying to stand you are  
A person withering in tears asking for love  
The downcast sad eyes will slowly  
Become a jewel brilliant with light.

Until you smile we are supposed to be able to shine  
Like the blooming stars in the night sky, will we shine fiercely?  
The sky-colored gradation forming the city of the stars  
Is an iris shining over the map of a dream sown with sound

The thousand flowers blooming in the night sky  
Until somehow, I hope we will be able to meet  
This single time that won't change, cuts into my heart  
The song that remains here, let it sound"

I sung myself to sleep that night, and the next morning was when my new beginning would take place. They had taken me in the middle of the night, drugged me as I slept and done what they pleased with my body before deforming it. When I had woken up I realized I wasn't in the same room that I was in before. My body felt strange too. I could barely feel my legs. When I looked down I couldn't believe my eyes. My legs were gone and replaced by hideous goat legs. Screaming until I passed out, time had passed and I awoke to find myself in a cage.

But this time it wasn't even in the hospital. I looked around to the place where I had been kidnapped. The memories flooded my mind, the flyers for the circus that would be in town, the walk I made deep into the heart of the forest, the oddities surrounding me, and the ringmaster. I will never forget that man's face, his body. He looked as if he was ten meters tall, and had wide eyes. He had smiled at me, which I had mistaken as a sign of welcoming me. It turned out that he was just sizing me up, determining whether or not I would make a good addition to this cursed place.

He determined I would.

As I had walked around the tent I hadn't noticed anyone following me because my mind was captivated by all the bizarre things and people in this circus. When I got to the back of the vast tent, I noticed that there was an opening, and decided to go see what was back there. That was the worst mistake of my life. I should have listened to the old saying "Curiosity killed the cat," they didn't know how right they were. Curiosity was the thing that killed me.

In that opening was a passage leading to another tent. I walked down that passage, entered the tent, and saw a whole group of children in cages crying. There were a few of the circus people sitting on top of cages, laughing and smiling cruelly. Someone grabbed me from behind, putting a cold hand over my mouth, silencing my horrified screams. He dragged me through the opening of an empty cage, despite my struggles, and slapped me hard enough to knock me out. Everything had gone black, and when I had woken up I was in the cursed hospital.

As the memory faded from my mind and I was brought back into reality, I realized that I wasn't alone anymore. The twins were standing in front of my prison . Or should I say the twin's heads were hovering above me, because that is the more accurate statement. Their head were connected to one body, the boy's body to be exact, their necks were stitched together; they were wearing a green shirt that also had stitches covering its entirety. Both pair of eyes blinked at me, and the girl smiled.

"Welcome to the Dark Wood Circus." She giggled as she spoke. I caught that distinguished vacant look in her eyes. The same look that the blue hair boy had. Looking between the boy and girl I noticed the difference in their eyes. They boy still had some life in his, he hadn't given up, hadn't given in.

"This circus is so much fun!" she said, as if she meant it with all her heart, believed in it with her entire being.

I stared at her in disbelief. After what she had been through how could she say that and mean it? Was she insane? I figured she must have been to have had to go through all that she did and still be able to smile. Maybe that's what the vacant look in her eyes meant. That she was past reasoning and logic and would do anything our "creators" instructed us on doing.

After the twins welcomed me, they danced off, out of my sight. I was left alone once again, with nowhere to go. I grasped the bars of my prison and tried to pull myself up, seeing if I could hold myself up on my new legs. At first I stumbled and feel over, but the second time I tried it was better and I could hold myself up for a few seconds. Then a few minutes. After a while this hideous deformity of mine seemed to have become natural for me. I was repulsed by it, but also thankful, and that repulsed me even more. I didn't know what I would do if I couldn't walk or stand anymore, but the thought of having these goat legs attached to me sickened me beyond belief.

"So, you're finally awake are you?" a familiar booming voice filled my ears. The Ringmaster had come to see me.

**A/N- I hope you enjoyed chapter one! Please review, and give me ideas for w hat you want to be in chapter 2!**


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